If you've ever seen a sexual anatomy diagram, I am willing to bet that it was based on a white person. As much as the sex-positive movement strives to combat oppression, it is still largely made up of middle class white people, and we aren't always as aware of intersectional oppression as we should be.

Shortly after I moved to Jerusalem last year, I got a friend request on Facebook from a woman in Massachusetts who I had never met. I get a lot of random friend requests, so I was not especially intrigued. Upon looking at her profile, it quickly became clear that she was an artist — specifically, a penis artist.

​An interview with professional dominatrix Leila Hazlett

Leila Hazlett is a sex worker, producer, and professional dominatrix. She also has a physical disability. She opened up to us about how sex work has affected her life, including her relationship to her body, her disability, and dating. She shares the good and the bad, including her favorite thing that she's ever done as a sex worker.

Look, I’m not trying to romanticize this crap. Pain sucks. Sometimes, when it feels like I’ve been jinxed with the ability to pee sulfuric acid, or my clitoris is in no-chill, angry-like-the-Bride-in-Kill-Bill mode, I curse whatever vengeful deity is messing with my genitals.

But as much as I’d love to completely indulge in hyper-cynicism, I have to admit that dealing with pelvic pain has, in some ways, made my life better. And yes, that includes my sex life.

I am a rape survivor, and I like sex.

And I have nightmares about my abusive ex. And I have trouble orgasming with other people. And I worry about being assaulted most days. And I think I probably have PTSD. And I love being touched. And I like casual sex (and that doesn’t have to be an “unhealthy coping mechanism”). And I like loving and being loved. And I find my body really sexy. And I get insecure about whether I’m “doing” sex right/well. And I communicate about consent, STIs, and desires (theirs and mine). And I have creative, weird, kinky, complicated fantasies. And I remind myself all of the time that my desires (and lack of desires) are valid, and that my pleasure is worthwhile!