Who this is for

This article is intended for anyone who wants to be bolder about flirting and hooking up with people but isn't clear on the line between confidently approaching people and being creepy or pushy.

Since #MeToo, people have been sharing their experiences with sexual harassment and assault with unprecedented honesty. In the wake of numerous powerful men being called out for their behavior, many men reacted by proclaiming, “None of us will be able to flirt anymore!”

When there’s a lot of bad news happening in the world, it can feel like the only appropriate reaction is despair. And if you’re not visibly upset, you’re seen as either under-informed, numb from the overwhelming amount of bad in the world, or, worst of all, an unfeeling monster. But those aren’t the only options! Being faced with tragedy is never easy, but there are steps you can take to avoid complete devastation, compassion fatigue, and burnout (which does not lend itself to working toward positive change in the world!).

Heads up: This article talks about sexual assault.

“Your no makes way for your yes. Boundaries create the container within which your yes is authentic. Being able to say no makes your yes a choice.” 
- adrienne maree brown

The word no was not a part of my sexual vocabulary for years. After traumatic experiences during which my no was not respected or I was not given the opportunity to say no before my boundaries were crossed, I didn’t see the point in saying no. Why try to voice a no when it seemed like partners weren’t listening to or caring about my preferences anyways? Always saying yes seemed easier than facing the reality that my nos had not been valued before and could be stifled again.

The Bible Belt in the southern United States is known for its conservative values, which are largely influenced by the popularity of evangelical Christianity in the region. When looking at sex education, policymakers in the area tend to prefer abstinence-only-until-marriage education, if anything, to be implemented in schools.

​For Pleasure Pie, 2021’s theme was getting back to a place of being capable of doing what we strive to do. The Venn diagram of Pleasure Pie and me as a person (Nicole) is two largely — but not completely (shout out to all the not-me people that make Pleasure Pie happen!) — overlapping circles. Because of this, the times when my mental health is in the gutter are usually times when Pleasure Pie is functioning at a low capacity.

2020 was a very rough mental health year for me (as anyone who read my Healing From a Bad Breakup zine knows). So, naturally, 2021 didn’t start off on the easiest of notes.

​Employees from Good Vibrations, the feminist sex toy store located in Brookline and Cambridge, Massachusetts have been on strike to demand safer working conditions during the pandemic. 

If you’re me, your social media feed is full of posts about consent and #metoo (but you’re not, so who knows what’s in your feed). Why does this public conversation about consent matter?

​An Interview with Gazan Sex Educator Mohammed Alkrunz

While I was living in Jerusalem and trying to find sexuality-related initiatives in the area (for this zine), I came across the website of an organization called the International Youth Alliance For Family Planning (IYAFP for short). They’re a youth-run (ages 15 to 30) nonprofit that advocates for sex ed and sexual rights around the world.

Shortly after I moved to Jerusalem last year, I got a friend request on Facebook from a woman in Massachusetts who I had never met. I get a lot of random friend requests, so I was not especially intrigued. Upon looking at her profile, it quickly became clear that she was an artist — specifically, a penis artist.

Are you interested in BDSM and not sure where to start (and living in the Boston area)? Here's a list of suggestions!

​An interview with professional dominatrix Leila Hazlett

Leila Hazlett is a sex worker, producer, and professional dominatrix. She also has a physical disability. She opened up to us about how sex work has affected her life, including her relationship to her body, her disability, and dating. She shares the good and the bad, including her favorite thing that she's ever done as a sex worker.

An Interview with Filmmakers Ezra Ani and Micah Smith

Pillow Talk is a new video series about the quirks of intimate relationships. It was made in Jerusalem by budding filmmakers Ezra Ani and Micah Smith, who are from Baltimore and Los Angeles, respectively. Since I'm currently staying in Jerusalem, I was curious to hear about a local art project that explores romance, gender, and sexuality, so I decided to ask them some questions!

Recently, ​I was asked some questions about Pleasure Pie and the Sex Letters Project. Here are my answers! - Nicole