 2017 was a tough year for the United States. Like many of you, we here at Pleasure Pie asked ourselves, "WTF should we do?" as things spiraled downward on a national level. Should we drop the sex-positivity stuff and do more direct political engagement? Should we stick to what we know, and push for a culture of consent and healthy sexual expression at a time when the need for this is even more visible than usual (with the "locker room talk" and allegations of sexual assault against so many politicians and celebrities)?
I'm so excited about Valentine's Day this year because we're hosting our very first Handmade Sex-Positive Valentine Swap! (Sign up to join the swap here!) Here are a few sex-positive valentines to get you in the spirit of the V-day season.
By Anonymous Pleasure Pie Contributor  A little under a year ago, I started dating a guy (I’ll call him my “partner”) who was especially adamant about me enthusiastically consenting to every sexual thing we did.
It wasn’t that he was asking for verbal consent more often than my other partners. It was that he pretty much begged me to never do anything sexual with him that I didn’t fully want to be doing. By Nicole Mazzeo I went to San Francisco recently and one of my favorite parts was seeing where I could find zines. Here are the places I went!  Written by Lori S., Pleasure Pie contributor. Graphics by Nicole Mazzeo.  Look, I’m not trying to romanticize this crap. Pain sucks. Sometimes, when it feels like I’ve been jinxed with the ability to pee sulfuric acid, or my clitoris is in no-chill, angry-like-the-Bride-in-Kill-Bill mode, I curse whatever vengeful deity is messing with my genitals.
But as much as I’d love to completely indulge in hyper-cynicism, I have to admit that dealing with pelvic pain has, in some ways, made my life better. And yes, that includes my sex life. I know. Bear with me. In November, we made this “Oh God, Oh God, Trump Is Our Next President” zine making station at the local theater company Company One’s production of the feminist play REVOLT. Here are some photos of the zines people made. 
I made these self care themed resistance stickers the morning I found out that Trump won the election (back in November).
I wanted a project that would help me channel my upset feelings into something constructive. Since the election results were so upsetting to me, I imagined that a lot of other people would be similarly rattled. I worried that people might have an intense emotional reaction to the election results, and then become frustrated and jaded, which could lead to inaction in the long term. My hope for these stickers was to encourage people to take care of their emotional selves in a way that would make them more able to resist Trump’s impact long term. nightmare (ptsd)mean Mike
guy we went to high school with – was he a friend of yours? – tortures me  I was struck by this recommendation while reading Survivor Theatre Project’s email newsletter this morning. I’ve often assumed that in order to fully process trauma, a person has to have some kind of emotional breakdown, and then build themself back up (like in the movies). But what do you do when that breakdown never comes? That’s why I love what the newsletter said about the many ways that grief can look:
 What might respecting sex workers look like? I'll give some examples!1. If you date someone who does sex work, you respect and value their body and autonomy as much as you would anyone else. You don’t assume that they’re comfortable with rough sex, certain sex acts, casual sex, etc. You don’t view people’s bodies as being less wonderful if they’ve been sexual with a lot of people.
 I made this sex-positive inspiration board of the things I’m feeling most inspired by right now!
 There is a new apparel company in Boston whose mission is to promote consent! They’re called Let’s Be Clear, and I asked the founder, Rachel Verner, a few prying questions. I don’t know about you, but whenever I find out about someone doing creative consent education in my city, I want to know more
 By anonymous Pleasure Pie contributor
I am a rape survivor, and I like sex. And I have nightmares about my abusive ex. And I have trouble orgasming with other people. And I worry about being assaulted most days. And I think I probably have PTSD. And I love being touched. And I like casual sex (and that doesn’t have to be an “unhealthy coping mechanism”). And I like loving and being loved. And I find my body really sexy. And I get insecure about whether I’m “doing” sex right/well. And I communicate about consent, STIs, and desires (theirs and mine). And I have creative, weird, kinky, complicated fantasies. And I remind myself all of the time that my desires (and lack of desires) are valid, and that my pleasure is worthwhile!  I made an anti-Trump gift guide. My hope is for widespread resistance to Trump to be visible in public every day.
See it here. |
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