Pleasure Pie | Sex-Positive Zines & Activism
  • Home
  • About
    • About Us
    • Projects >
      • Boston's Sex-Positive Newsletter
      • Sex-Positive Action Group
  • Zines!
  • Events
    • Upcoming Events!
    • Past Events
    • Event Photos
    • Book a Workshop
  • Resources
    • Educational Materials
    • Resources for Sexuality Educators & Activists
    • Boston Area Resources
    • Online Resources
  • Articles
  • Wholesale
  • Contact

Q&A with Pleasure Pie's Founder

7/22/2018

 
Picture
I recently was asked some questions about Pleasure Pie and the Sex Letters Project. Here are my answers! - Nicole

​​Q: Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background?
​

A: I've always made zines. As a kid I would make DIY magazines where I interviewed our family pets and gave updates on household happenings. Then when I was in college I started to become fascinated by sex-positivity. I had had some bad experiences with sex, and I was really under-informed about sexuality. So, in an attempt to get over my anxieties and embarrassment about sex, and to learn more about it, I started reading about it online — a lot. I read about sex-positivity, sex education, and gender equality, and took some college classes on human sexuality and LGBT topics. 


Read More

Opening My Heart After Rape

3/20/2016

 
By anonymous Pleasure Pie contributor

[Content Warning]
I’ve always been a very polyamorous person, long before I knew the word for it. I feel like I tend to be very open-hearted, and very trusting. When I was in high school, I participated in a group trust fall exercise, and was about a thousand times better at trust falling than anyone else in the group, to the point that I sometimes fell before my partner was even ready to catch me (they did catch me though).

​About a year ago, I went on a date with a guy I didn’t know very well, and he raped me.
​
I was really surprised by what happened. I mean, he did seem like a sketchy guy, but I didn’t anticipate that he might hurt me in such a serious way. We had had conversations. He had looked me in the eye. My status as a fellow human being should have been apparent to him. Why would someone do that?

It made me question the way I view strangers in general. I had spent most of my life trying to assume kindness and trying to love everyone, unless I was given a whole lot of reasons not to (i.e. the person threatens to kill me or something). Now, this doesn’t mean that I liked everyone. But I did have some form of love for people as a whole.

In the year since my rape, I’ve been in a mostly monogamous relationship, until a month ago.

When that relationship ended, I was excited to be free to be polyamorous again. I’ve gone on two dates so far, and I’m finding that dating feels very different than it used to.

I’m finding that I’m afraid of men until they are proven to be trustworthy. I have been doing “background checks” by asking mutual friends about how safe it is to be alone with them. I can now see why many people are afraid of online dating, because you can’t ask a mutual friend to vouch for the people you go on dates with.

I’m also finding myself having confusing feelings about casual sex. Questions are coming up for me, like, “Is it really worth it to have sex with this person?”

Worth what? What am I losing to connect with this person sexually?

I’m also finding myself asking, “What’s the point of sex without love?”

The space between casual sex and a relationship isn’t usually acknowledged in our culture. It’s usually thought of as either completely casual, or a relationship. But it’s completely possible to experience sex, feelings, caring about the person – even if only for one night.

How this used to feel for me:

Sexuality was a way to connect with new people on an intimate level. I got to see their bedroom, their body, the way they interact with their own body, the way they touch and look at my body, how they express being turned on (like the noises they make, the things they say, the things they ask for, how they express feelings of pleasure, etc.), etc. And I never wondered if sex made sense without love because there was always an element of love: my general love for them as a fellow human being, regardless of how much I liked them or could relate to them or connect with them emotionally, intellectually, etc.

***

I want to learn to open up my heart again and love people in general, while still trying to do my best to protect myself from assault (i.e. by trusting my instincts when someone seems sketchy). It’s confusing for me to know to what extent I should heed my safety concerns, and to what extent they are a not-useful reaction to trauma. For now, I’m going to try to be careful with my safety, while still pushing past my emotional comfort zone when I do feel physically safe.

    Categories

    All
    Abortion
    Activism
    Adolescence
    Anti Trump
    Art
    Asexuality
    Body Positive
    Communication
    Consent
    Dirty Talk
    Disability
    Erotic
    Events
    Flirting
    Free Printables
    Gender Roles
    Gift Guides
    Global Sexual Rights
    Holidays
    Insecurity
    Intersectionality
    Kink & BDSM
    Masturbation
    Menstruation
    Nipples
    Painful Sex
    Penises
    Personal Stories
    Pleasure
    Politics
    Polyamory
    Queer
    Race
    Relationships
    Sex Letters Project
    Sex Positive Movement Building
    Sex Toys
    Sexual Assault
    Sexual Coercion
    Sexual Dysfunction
    Sexual Health
    Sexual Shame
    Sex Work
    Stickers
    STIs
    Transgender
    Trauma
    Vaginas
    Workshops & Performances
    Zines

    Treat Yourself & ​Fund Pleasure Pie!

    Picture
    Interested in buying sex toys or other sexy products? Do it here! Pleasure Pie gets a percentage of sales from this unique link.

    Archives

    September 2020
    January 2019
    November 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014

    RSS Feed

Get Pleasure Pie Emails
PROJECTS
Boston's Sex-Positive Newsletter
Sex-Positive Action Group

SHOP
​OUR Etsy STORE
OUR CLOTHING STORE
WHOLESALE
​FOR UNIVERSITIES
EDUCATIONAL MATERIALS
WORKSHOPS

WHOLESALE

​
CONTACT
  • Home
  • About
    • About Us
    • Projects >
      • Boston's Sex-Positive Newsletter
      • Sex-Positive Action Group
  • Zines!
  • Events
    • Upcoming Events!
    • Past Events
    • Event Photos
    • Book a Workshop
  • Resources
    • Educational Materials
    • Resources for Sexuality Educators & Activists
    • Boston Area Resources
    • Online Resources
  • Articles
  • Wholesale
  • Contact