Sex and Judgment Discussion

This discussion was created by Nicole Mazzeo of Pleasure Pie.

Key

• Popcorn Style - Let people speak when they have something to say, in no particular order. Not everyone needs to speak.

Discussion Outline

• Introductions:
  • Everyone goes around and says their name and the pronouns they use.
• Basic definitions:
  • What does sex positivity mean to you?
    • Have a couple of people give their thoughts so everyone knows what we're talking about.
• Group guidelines:
  • We're going to be talking about some sensitive things here. What are some things that would make you feel more comfortable talking about these things in this group? (Popcorn style)
• Discussion questions:
  • Can you think of a time when you felt judged for your sexual expression/choices?
    • What happened?
    • How did you feel?
  • Can you think of a time when you judged someone for their sexual expression/choices?
    • What happened?
    • Reflections?
  • Has other people's judgment (or your fear of their judgment) affected how you express your sexuality / what you do or don't do sexually?
    • What might your sexual expression look like if it was only about what you want and what feels natural to you?
      • Do you feel like you are close to achieving this?
  • Is there anything you do to remind yourself not to be judgmental of other people's sexual expressions?
    • What do you do if you catch yourself being judgmental?
    • A thought to consider: Being judgmental of people who have privilege in their sexual expression (i.e. straight white cisgender men) is less harmful than being judgmental of people who have less of this kind of privilege (i.e. queer trans women, etc.), but it is still not very nice. Sexual expression is hard for a lot of people, and people may have struggles or past trauma that you don't know about. However, this doesn't mean that you have to accept everything people do/say without criticism/discernment.
  • Any thoughts/reflections?