Sexual Assumptions Discussion

This discussion was created by Nicole Mazzeo of Pleasure Pie.
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Key

• Popcorn Style - Let people speak when they have something to say, in no particular order. Not everyone needs to speak.
  
  

Discussion Outline

• Introductions:
  • Everyone goes around and says their name, the pronouns they use, and what makes them interested in coming to a discussion about sexuality.
• Group guidelines:
  • We're going to be talking about some sensitive things here. What are some things that would make you feel more comfortable talking about these things in this group? (Popcorn style)
• ​Invite everyone to stretch and take a deep breath.
• Discussion questions:
  • What kinds of assumptions do you think people make about your sexuality? This could be based on your personality, gender, age, race, gender identity, sexual orientation, marital status, parenting status, ability status, body type, whether or not you've experienced sexual assault, etc.
    • How do you feel about the assumptions you think people make about you?
    • Do you do anything to push back on these assumptions? (This isn't meant to imply that you should do anything to push back.)
    • Ask all of these questions at once, and go around so everyone speaks, for a couple minutes per person.
  • Pairs: How are you feeling right now? What was that last question like for you?
    • Guidelines for pair discussions:
      • Confidentiality: Don't tell anyone what your partner says to you in your pair discussion.
      • You have 2 minutes to speak, and your partner should just listen during those 2 minutes (no responding). Then switch and the listening partner has 2 minutes to speak.
  • Draw:
    • Give each person a sheet of paper and a marker.
    • Prompt: As opposed to those assumptions that are often untrue, what is your sexuality actually like? What are you like as a sexual person? Draw your truest sexuality on this piece of paper. This could be a mind map, a diagram, an illustration, a list of words, etc. You won't be obligated to share it when you're done, so feel free to draw/write whatever you want without fear of judgement.
    • Group shareback: Does anyone want to share what's on their paper? There is no expectation for anyone to share. (Popcorn style)
  • Pairs: What are some assumptions you've noticed yourself making about other people's sexualities? This could be a specific example, or a trend.
    • Guidelines for pair discussions:
      • Confidentiality: Don't tell anyone what your partner says to you in your pair discussion.
      • You have 4 minutes to speak, and your partner should just listen during those 4 minutes (no responding). Then switch and the listening partner has 4 minutes to speak. Then you'll have 2 minutes at the end for back-and-forth conversation.
    • Group shareback: What came up for you during that discussion? What assumptions do you notice yourself making about other people's sexualities? (Popcorn style)
• Any final thoughts, reflections, or questions?