Sexual Insecurities Discussion

This discussion was created by Nicole Mazzeo of Pleasure Pie.

Discussion Outline

• Introductions:
  • Everyone goes around and says their name, the pronouns they use, and something they like to do in their free time. Encourage the group to gently challenge the boxes that we might put people into when we hear what they like doing.
• Group guidelines:
  • We're going to be talking about some sensitive things here. What are some things that would make you feel more comfortable talking about these things in this group? (Popcorn style)
• Go around: Have each person say one thing they're insecure about about sex/their sexuality. Each person gets a minute or two to explain their thing.
• Have everyone take a deep breath. And another.
• Pair discussions: Ask if anyone wants to choose their own pairs. For everyone else, assign pairs.
  • Have pairs discuss: How do your insecurities affect how you express yourself sexually? (About 5-7 minutes)
    • i.e. What you do and don't do sexually, what you seek out, how your sexual interactions play out, how you talk about sex, etc.
• Have everyone get back into a larger group.
• Discussion questions:
  • What was that conversation like for you? (Tell people that they can say what they shared, but don't say what their partner said. Their partner can disclose that if they want to.)
    • What came up for you?
  • What (if anything) do you do to work with or overcome your sexual insecurities?
    
    • Things you've found helpful in dealing with them?
      
• ​​Go around: Have each person say one thing they're confident about about sex/their sexuality. (Encourage people to stay vulnerable while answering this question. The idea is to celebrate a positive feeling about your sexuality without being cocky. Avoid saying things that reinforce sex-negative concepts (i.e. "My penis is huge" implies that smaller penises are less good, etc.). Go for something unique/personal that you feel good about.
  
• Any final thoughts, reflections, or questions?