Allegations of sexual violence against Israelis on October 7, 2023 have become a key talking point in attempts to justify the Israeli government’s mass killing of Palestinians.

​Zionist rhetoric has long used various forms of “liberal” propaganda to validate violence against Palestinians, including “pinkwashing,” or presenting Israel as a haven for LGBTQIA+ rights to excuse its violent occupation of Palestine. These allegations of sexual violence follow the same script: the narrative shifts focus away from Israel’s violence in Gaza and frames its military response as justified self-defense, painting Israel as the victim.

Do you run a gay bar, arts center, school, meditation group, sex club, or other community-based business or organization? Conflict is bound to come up in community spaces, and the way that you respond to it as a leader in your community can have a big impact on the people involved, as well as the entire community. But what do you do if an allegation is made and you don't know who to believe?

Today, we lost musician Sinéad O’Connor, who is known for her hit song, Nothing Compares 2 U. O'Connor caused public outrage for speaking out against rampant sexual abuse in the Catholic church in the 90s.

Heads up: This post mentions sexual assault.

1. Unorthodox
Unorthodox is a miniseries about a 19-year-old woman named Esty who leaves her ultra-Orthodox Jewish community in New York and moves to Berlin.

More than half of American Indian and Alaska Native women (56%) experience sexual assault. The vast majority (96%) are assaulted by a non-Native perpetrator. For centuries, colonizers / the US government have stripped Indigenous folks of power and resources — and continue to do so today. This disempowerment and exploitation makes Native folks especially vulnerable to sexual and relationship abuse (as well as poverty, health issues, pollution, and ongoing land insecurity).

In other words, the system is really fucked up and people are getting hurt. So, what can we do?

Heads up: This article talks about sexual assault.

“Your no makes way for your yes. Boundaries create the container within which your yes is authentic. Being able to say no makes your yes a choice.” 
- adrienne maree brown

The word no was not a part of my sexual vocabulary for years. After traumatic experiences during which my no was not respected or I was not given the opportunity to say no before my boundaries were crossed, I didn’t see the point in saying no. Why try to voice a no when it seemed like partners weren’t listening to or caring about my preferences anyways? Always saying yes seemed easier than facing the reality that my nos had not been valued before and could be stifled again.

Look, I’m not trying to romanticize this crap. Pain sucks. Sometimes, when it feels like I’ve been jinxed with the ability to pee sulfuric acid, or my clitoris is in no-chill, angry-like-the-Bride-in-Kill-Bill mode, I curse whatever vengeful deity is messing with my genitals.

But as much as I’d love to completely indulge in hyper-cynicism, I have to admit that dealing with pelvic pain has, in some ways, made my life better. And yes, that includes my sex life.

There is a new apparel company in Boston whose mission is to promote consent! They’re called Let’s Be Clear, and I asked the founder, Rachel Verner, a few prying questions. I don’t know about you, but whenever I find out about someone doing creative consent education in my city, I want to know more

I am a rape survivor, and I like sex.

And I have nightmares about my abusive ex. And I have trouble orgasming with other people. And I worry about being assaulted most days. And I think I probably have PTSD. And I love being touched. And I like casual sex (and that doesn’t have to be an “unhealthy coping mechanism”). And I like loving and being loved. And I find my body really sexy. And I get insecure about whether I’m “doing” sex right/well. And I communicate about consent, STIs, and desires (theirs and mine). And I have creative, weird, kinky, complicated fantasies. And I remind myself all of the time that my desires (and lack of desires) are valid, and that my pleasure is worthwhile!

[Content notice: Rape and sexual coercion]

​Last night I went on my first Tinder date, and it was horrible!

By anonymous Pleasure Pie contributor

[Content warning]

I regularly see people proclaim that rape is not sex, and should not be called sex. As someone who has experienced rape, this feels unnecessarily limiting.

By anonymous Pleasure Pie contributor

[Content Warning]

I’ve always been a very polyamorous person, long before I knew the word for it. I feel like I tend to be very open-hearted, and very trusting. When I was in high school, I participated in a group trust fall exercise, and was about a thousand times better at trust falling than anyone else in the group, to the point that I sometimes fell before my partner was even ready to catch me (they did catch me though).

By anonymous Pleasure Pie contributor

​[Content warning]

I had a dream last night that I was raped by a neighbor when I visited his house. In the dream I was fifteen years old and he was in his late 30s or early 40s.