Sex-Positive Valentines!12/31/2017 I'm so excited about Valentine's Day this year because we're hosting our very first Handmade Sex-Positive Valentine Swap!
Here are a few sex-positive valentines to get you in the spirit of the V-day season. How I Started Asking *Myself* for Consent10/22/2017 A little under a year ago, I started dating a guy (I’ll call him my “partner”) who was especially adamant about me enthusiastically consenting to every sexual thing we did.
It wasn’t that he was asking for verbal consent more often than my other partners. It was that he pretty much begged me to never do anything sexual with him that I didn’t fully want to be doing. Where to Find Zines in San Francisco8/26/2017 I went to San Francisco recently and one of my favorite parts was seeing where I could find zines. Here are the places I went!
The Pros & Woes of a Too-Tight Pussy8/22/2017 Look, I’m not trying to romanticize this crap. Pain sucks. Sometimes, when it feels like I’ve been jinxed with the ability to pee sulfuric acid, or my clitoris is in no-chill, angry-like-the-Bride-in-Kill-Bill mode, I curse whatever vengeful deity is messing with my genitals.
But as much as I’d love to completely indulge in hyper-cynicism, I have to admit that dealing with pelvic pain has, in some ways, made my life better. And yes, that includes my sex life. Anti-Trump Zine Making Station8/13/2017 In November, we made this “Oh God, Oh God, Trump Is Our Next President” zine making station at the local theater company Company One’s production of the feminist play REVOLT. Here are some photos of the zines people made.
Anti-Trump Self Care Sticker Project8/12/2017 I made these self care themed resistance stickers the morning I found out that Trump won the election (back in November).
I wanted a project that would help me channel my upset feelings into something constructive. Since the election results were so upsetting to me, I imagined that a lot of other people would be similarly rattled. I worried that people might have an intense emotional reaction to the election results, and then become frustrated and jaded, which could lead to inaction in the long term. My hope for these stickers was to encourage people to take care of their emotional selves in a way that would make them more able to resist Trump’s impact long term. Grief as Self Care for Survivors2/16/2017 I was struck by this recommendation while reading Survivor Theatre Project’s email newsletter this morning. I’ve often assumed that in order to fully process trauma, a person has to have some kind of emotional breakdown, and then build themself back up (like in the movies). But what do you do when that breakdown never comes? That’s why I love what the newsletter said about the many ways that grief can look:
Respect Sex Workers2/3/2017 What might respecting sex workers look like? I'll give some examples!1. If you date someone who does sex work, you respect and value their body and autonomy as much as you would anyone else. You don’t assume that they’re comfortable with rough sex, certain sex acts, casual sex, etc. You don’t view people’s bodies as being less wonderful if they’ve been sexual with a lot of people.
Sex-Positive Inspiration Board!1/14/2017 Here are some of the things I’m feeling most inspired by right now in the realm of sex-positivity.
There is a new apparel company in Boston whose mission is to promote consent! They’re called Let’s Be Clear, and I asked the founder, Rachel Verner, a few prying questions. I don’t know about you, but whenever I find out about someone doing creative consent education in my city, I want to know more
I am a Rape Survivor, and I Like Sex.11/30/2016 I am a rape survivor, and I like sex.
And I have nightmares about my abusive ex. And I have trouble orgasming with other people. And I worry about being assaulted most days. And I think I probably have PTSD. And I love being touched. And I like casual sex (and that doesn’t have to be an “unhealthy coping mechanism”). And I like loving and being loved. And I find my body really sexy. And I get insecure about whether I’m “doing” sex right/well. And I communicate about consent, STIs, and desires (theirs and mine). And I have creative, weird, kinky, complicated fantasies. And I remind myself all of the time that my desires (and lack of desires) are valid, and that my pleasure is worthwhile! Sex Positive Zines!11/16/2016 I’m compiling a list of sex-positive zines. I’ll continue to add to this list as I find more. Feel free to send recommendations!
Finding the Words for Sexy Stuff9/5/2016 It can be hard to find words you’re comfortable using to describe sexual stuff. There are so many weird or uncomfortable connotations that go along with sex-related words. But having a vocabulary you’re more or less comfortable using makes it a lot easier to communicate about sex with your partner(s), and with anyone!
Since better communication tends to mean better sexual experiences, it’s worth a shot! [Content notice: Rape and sexual coercion]
Last night I went on my first Tinder date, and it was horrible! Really long intro (Feel free to skip this part)One of the first things I saw upon waking up this morning was a video of a keynote speech by the Women of Color Sexual Health Network (WoCSHN). They are currently at a conference that I am longingly following on social media called The Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit
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