A Breakdown of my Current Projects11/8/2014 What exactly is Pleasure Pie? Well, what better way to tell you than telling you exactly what Pleasure Pie does? Here is a breakdown of all Pleasure Pie’s current projects. You can always check back for updates on the Projects page. Print Creations
Zines, illustrations, calendars, quizzes, stickers, etc. Check out some of Pleasure Pie’s current print creations in the Pleasure Pie Shop! Boston’s Sex Positive Newsletter Stay in the loop about sex positive happenings in the Boston area. Subscribe here. See past issues: Sex Positive Boston A regularly meeting group of sex positive people in the Boston area. Consists of thoughtful sex positive discussions, as well as show-and-tell of people’s sex positive projects and initiatives. Find out more info on our Facebook group, and come to our first meeting! The Sex Letters Project: A new way to learn about sex. The Sex Letters Project asks real people to write letters to their teenage selves, telling them what they wish they knew about sex and sexuality as a teenager. Check out The Sex Letters Project here! Events Find out about Pleasure Pie’s upcoming events on the event page! Articles I write articles for the Pleasure Pie blog, as well as other publications. I’m currently working on an article for Fabulously Feminist, a Boston-based feminist online magazine, which should be published soon. Check out these recommended posts to get started: Queer Art for Queer People: The Femme Show10/14/2014 Sunday was the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health’s (CSPH) Body Positive Clothing Swap. I was there with my my Pleasure Pie merch table, chatting with some awesome sex positive advocates and regularly ditching my table to dig through the massive amounts of clothing. While I was there, I donated a copy of Choose Your Own Consensual Adventure to the CSPH’s extensive sex positive library (flip through it if you’re ever in the Pawtucket area!) and checked out the other zines. There were some awesome sex positive zines that I had never heard of! Here’s a quick review of 4 of my favorites. 4 Awesome Sex Positive Zines1. Talk Dirty. Cleanly. This zine is so good. It talks all about talking dirty, gives many examples, and has fun fill-in-the-blank exercises to get you started. It’s a great way to figure out how to engage in sexy talk that reflects your personality, as opposed to feeling like you sound like a cliche porn star (not that talking like porn performers is bad, I just mean that it’s nice to feel like you sound like you – an ultra sexy you). This zine was put out by ScrewSmart in Philly. 2. How to Disclose Your STI & Feel Good About It This friendly little zine offers some sound, nonjudgmental guidance for telling a partner about your STI(s). It feels way more realistic down to earth than most STI info on the internet. Plus, many of the communication tips are helpful for any conversation. Zine by Ess Elle. 3. Menstrual Cup, A Love Story Sorry to leave you out, penis owners, but this topic is close to my heart. Adelaide makes the discussion of menstrual cups fun and personal by briefly sharing the story of how she started using them after being a long-time tampon user. Next is a breakdown of how to use a menstrual cup, including some helpful tips that you won’t find elsewhere. Also, illustrations! This zine is totally worth reading for anyone who might be interested in trying a menstrual cup, or long time menstrual cup lovers. I’ve been using a menstrual cup for years, and I learned some new tips. Zine by Adelaide Barton of Lady Gardens. 4. Tips for Emerging Sexology Professionals: Networking and Nurturing
This zine is good if you’re trying to make a career out of your interest in sex positivity / sexual health. It offers practical tips for moving up in the field. And when I say practical, I mean practical to the point of possibly uninspiring if your vision of your sex positive career is based more on passion than on success. I recommend reading this zine to get a better understanding of the things you can do to succeed in the sexology field, while keeping in mind that your passion is most important – it’s why you’re doing this in the first place – and altering your path completely to be as hire-able as possible could get in the way of you fulfilling your full potential. Hold on to your passion and run with it! And learn some very useful tips for professional development in this zine. It’s available for free online! Bonus: I heard this (sexy) song for the first time at the clothing swap and have been listening to it nonstop ever since: Whatever You Like (cover) by Anya Marina I just finished writing a newsletter to compile all the sex positive stuff happening in the Boston area. I’m hoping that the more people know about what others are doing to make the world a more sex positive place, the more we can all work together and inspire each other. Check out the first issue of Boston’s Sex Positive Newsletter here!
and Subscribe here! I came up with the idea for a sex positive newsletter when I started promoting my Pleasure Pie work online and a bunch of local sex positive people started coming out of the woodwork. I thought to myself, “These people are awesome and they’re doing awesome things! I’ve spent years being passionate about sex positivity and I’m just finding out about them now?” I had the urge to introduce all of the great sex positive people I was meeting to one another. My thought process: “Should I have a sex positive (platonic) matchmaking party? There are probably way more sex positive people nearby that I still don’t know! How can I encourage local sex positive people to meet each other and find out about all the cool stuff others are doing?” I came up with two ideas: 1. Make a newsletter of all the cool sex positive events, projects, and work going on in the area so that people who are interested can participate (and possibly even network and collaborate). 2. Start a sex positive meet up group that will meet once every few months, and have it be open to the public so all of the great people I don’t know yet can show up and share what they’re up to. As you can see, the newsletter is now a reality! (Update: The meet up group is also now a reality!) Have a sex positive day! Smutty consent performance9/21/2014 I know I’ve written a lot of posts that include the phrase “first ever” and its starting to sound gimmicky. But lately Pleasure Pie has given me a lot of opportunities to try things for the first time. About a week ago, I did my first ever performance! I wasn’t really sure how I could perform a zine, but the application specifically said that they were accepting zine performances, so I trusted that I could figure it out if I was accepted. I really wasn’t expecting them to accept my application because the description I gave of my performance didn’t sound at all smutty.
But they did! I was psyched because I’ve admired the CSPH’s work for a long time. And I was nervous because it was starting to hit me that I had never performed anything before, and I wasn’t that confident about the concept I submitted to them. So I started practicing with Eric and we quickly came up with ideas for making it funner and sexier. But those ideas required that I have a second performer. Eric isn’t a performer either, but he agreed to do it with me, so long as I don’t give him many lines. As the event neared, I started having flashbacks to the time I did a speech about polyamory at an event at Bridgewater State University. I was invited to speak by one of the event planners, but the other people in charge didn’t seem to want me there at all. Their approach to MCing was to goof around and tell borderline sex-negative and body shaming jokes. I think they thought that even a brief speech would be boring. They pretty much told me to get off the stage as quickly as I could. So I went up and started reading from my notes, and the (large) crowd kept chattering. I was really nervous, with it being possibly the first time I ever spoke in front of a crowd, and I felt completely unwanted. I rushed through what I had to say with little to no inflection in my voice, and left the stage wondering whether any of the 100+ people in the room got anything out of it. In planning for Smut Night I was really worried that I would freeze up again once I got in front of the crowd. I kept telling myself, “Say things with feeling! Be dramatic!” But in our practice sessions, I continued to be monotone because I couldn’t get past the fact that no one was actually watching us. When the night of the event finally came and Eric and I found ourselves in front of a real audience (which was a thousand times more welcoming and supportive than the one at Bridgewater, by the way) we both got so much energy from the crowd. We went all out with the over the top theatrics. My hands were visibly shaking with nervous and excited energy (someone from the front row later told me they noticed). I even knocked over the mic stand by pulling the microphone too far away during a chaotic fake-make-out scene. We improvised, goofed around, and ogled each other. I told people to buy the zine way too many times. We had a lot of fun, and I think the audience could tell. A bunch of strangers told me afterward that they loved our performance. :) Also, someone called my zine “a Puritan’s nightmare.” That was fun to hear. I just looked up the definition of Puritan and found “someone who follows a strict moral code and who believes that pleasure is wrong.” I didn’t realize how accurate that review was until now. Thanks so much to the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health for putting on a great event and giving us the opportunity to be a part of it! I’m looking forward to possibly expressing my dramatic inclinations in future performances. Currently brainstorming new Pleasure Pie performance ideas. 1. Give them information on their risk reduction options.
For pregnancy, they could:
3. Go with them to the doctor, clinic, or pharmacy to get treatment and/or medication. 4. Force their rapist to get tested for STIs, and go with him/her/them (with your friend’s permission). (Note: STIs often don’t show up right away on tests, so if they got something recently it could show up as a false negative. But it’s useful information if they do test positive for something.) Bonus thing you can do: Talk about it with them. Read 6 things to say if your friend tells you they were raped. You want to show your support and say the right thing, but sometimes it’s hard to know what will help and what will be triggering.
Here are six ideas for the right things to say from a survivor who has had dozens of these conversations. 1. “I’m sorry that happened to you.” Simple as that. It’s the “I’m sorry for your loss” of the rape conversation. It doesn’t matter if everyone else saying it too. It’s validating, sensitive, and it shows that you’re taking your friend seriously and that you’re on their side. If you’re not that close with your friend, you can stop here. 2. “How are you doing?” Acknowledge that your friend is probably in a healing process, and that self care is especially important for them right now. Also point out that there are places for them to get help with this process. If you don’t know resources offhand, offer to look into free/affordable counseling services and/or support groups, ideally specific to sexual assault survivors. If they’re not interested, let it go. If they are, research it later and remember to get back to them! Following up is a great supportive gesture. 3. “What he/she/they did to you is not okay.” It seems obvious, but it’s really important for your friend to hear. Even if they seem like they know it already. Explicitly confirming that they were mistreated is validating and it helps to combat any shame they might be feeling. 4. “Is there a chance of pregnancy or STIs?” While it isn’t normally your place to take charge of your friend’s health, they might be overwhelmed by the trauma, so ignoring the health risks of sexual assault might feel like the easiest option right now. If they’re not seeking treatment for any possible health risks or unwanted pregnancy, it could be really helpful for you to be the annoying, pushy friend who won’t leave them alone until they do. FYI:
5. “I’m here if you ever want to talk about it.” Make it clear that they are welcome to trudge through every detail with you, or not share any details at all. But only say this if it’s true. 6. “In the future, is it okay if I ask you how you’re doing in regard to this? Or would you rather I wait for you to bring it up?” Your friend might want to talk about this with you in the future (i.e. the next time you talk), but if they’re the only one who ever brings it up they might feel awkward and think you’re sick of hearing about it. Or they might not be ready to talk about it more yet. Ask them to find out how you can continue to support them on their terms. Other Tips:
**They might not be clear on what their feelings are, or they might be in shock and not have any feelings about it yet (even if it’s been a while since the traumatic incident). These are both okay. Be supportive of your friend wherever they are in their healing process. I love writing email newsletters!9/12/2014 So I made one for Pleasure Pie!
Here’s the first issue. And you can subscribe here! Do it. I promise I won’t blow up your inbox. New sex positive stickers!9/11/2014 I found a sticker maker (the orange X-shaped thing) on the side of the road a few years ago. The other day I was thinking about how cool it would be to make stickers for Pleasure Pie, so I fiddled with it for a while and finally figured out how it works! I have a feeling this is the beginning of something beautiful.
Launch Party fun!9/7/2014 Last night was the much-awaited Pleasure Pie Launch Party! Honestly, I was pretty nervous about the event. It didn’t occur to me until a few days before the night of the party that I had never put on an event before (other than purely social holiday or birthday parties). Fortunately, my very supportive love partner and similarly supportive sister agreed to help with making copies and preparing food (respectively). Though they just agreed to help me complete these tasks, they actually ended up doing them pretty much single-handedly, while I ran around doing a million seemingly crucial things that I can’t even remember now. But it all came together (THANK YOU Melissa and Eric!) and it was a really good time! There were so many awesome people in one room, so how could it not be great? The zine making station was a hit, and people made some amazing stuff! I loved one person’s zine so much that I suggested repeatedly that she let me sell it for her with my Pleasure Pie merch. So you might have the opportunity to see this zine that I can’t stop raving about sometime soon. (Update: You can now buy this zine here!) The open mic was really great. I think of Pleasure Pie as a way for me to share the lessons that I’ve found helpful in my journey to reclaim my sexuality and overcome sexual shame, and it was really moving to hear about the things that have been important to others in their own journeys. Thank you all for being awesome! We ended the night with sex trivia, which was as ton of fun. It was an interesting mix of activists, bloggers, poets, sex educators, and people who just came with their sex geek friends, so there were a lot of very interesting conversations (and team names). And I love giving presents, so I was psyched to hand out prizes to the winning team (go Butt Plugs / The 5%)! I’m thinking about planning another Sex Letters open mic in the coming months. Let me know if you would be interested in reading a letter!
Launch Party / Sex Letters Open Mic!8/28/2014 Come celebrate and see what Pleasure Pie is all about!
Saturday, September 6th, 2014 6:00pm - 9:00pm Democracy Center 45 Mt Auburn St, Cambridge, MA 02138 Free! There will be a Sex Letters open mic! Bring a letter to read, or just show up and hear people read their letters. If you are interested in reading (do it!), you can find submission guidelines here. There will be a zine making station! Whether you’ve never made a zine before or have dozens of zines published, this is for you. Materials and guidance (if wanted) will be provided. There will be sex trivia! And what’s trivia without prizes??? There will be Pleasure Pie creations! Zines, post cards, quizzes, etc. Bring cash! There will be snacks! Yum. If you enjoy bringing something, by all means, bring something. If not, bring you! I can’t wait to see you there! [RSVP on the Facebook event page] Pleasure Pie in the news!8/25/2014 People are writing about Pleasure Pie! Suzi Grossman, blogger from Suzi Looks at Lots of Art writes: "With all the media control of nipples, I just had to have this whimsical endorsement of all that is the nipple by Pleasure Pie." She also included this photo of Pleasure Pie’s Nipples for Everyone! post card: Thanks Suzi!
Joseph Difazio of the BDC Wire also wrote about Pleasure Pie in his coverage of the Zine Fest. He writes: "Nicole Mazzeo created her very first zine for the fest, Pleasure Pie, to talk about and illustrate issues regarding consent and body positivity." He mixed up the name of the zine with the name of the organization, but everything else is on point! Thanks everyone! Also, check back soon for news about a Pleasure Pie launch party that’s in the works… Did you miss the zine fest? Do you live outside of Boston? No problem! The internet and snail mail exist for this exact reason.
Check out the new Etsy shop to see everything that’s available! New England Zine Fest a huge success!8/18/2014 I put everything I’ve been working on out into the world yesterday! I spent the day tabling at New England Zine Fest in Cambridge, MA. It was an incredibly fulfilling experience! So many people loved my creations. It was really encouraging to get positive feedback. I’ve spent many hours working on all of this, and it meant so much to me that people were passionate about it. I’m excited to make more things! 7 Awesome Zine Fest Moments: 1. Someone told me that with all the controversy between sex positivity and feminism, my work is “exactly what [they] think sex positivity should look like.” 2. Someone from Papercut Zine Library liked my Choose Your Own Consensual Adventure zine and invited me to table at the Boston Zine Fair in October! 3. Another person from Papercut Zine Library liked the zine and asked if I wanted to donate it to the library for circulation. Yes! I donated one on the spot. 4. Someone from Support Boston asked if they could consign the zine to sell at shows. Yes! I gave them some zines and calendars. 5. Someone called Choose Your Own Consensual Adventure “amazing.” Someone else said that it is “an important thing to exist.” 6. Multiple people who work with youth bought the zine to use in their programs. 7. Someone that works with Bedsider bought the zine as a work purchase. So official! I gave them a free What’s Your Contraceptive Personality quiz because I referenced Bedsider when making it! I sold dozens of zines, calendars, quizzes, and postcards! Check back soon for information on buying my stuff online. :)
Yay! |